ME: (MY EMOTIONS)

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If you want the freedom to choose your response, you must be present in the moment. To learn to be present, you must practice mindfulness.

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Mindfulness is about waking up, being aware, and participating consciously in your experiences as they happen. The next time you feel a wave of emotions coming, try to take slow, deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth. Grip the opposite forearm in each hand and knead your skin.

The goal is to stay in your body so you won't retreat into your head where you'll ruminate. Next, repeat to yourself something comforting to remind you that emotions don't need to be feared. When you can stay calm and present in the moment, you give yourself time to choose how to react.

Remember: feeling the emotion isn't the same thing as reacting to it. In my role as a marriage and family therapist and anger management specialist, I see many patients who mistake their angry response for anger. Throwing a vase isn't anger; it's an angry response.


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The boiling feeling inside your body that precedes the vase throwing is the anger. As someone who is highly sensitive, you must learn how to make space between the emotion in your body and the action you take in response to that bodily feeling.

5 Skills to Help You Develop Emotional Intelligence

When you learn how to separate your emotions from your emotional responses you'll have the freedom to talk to your friends about how they've hurt you in a calm, cool-headed manner. If they continue to upset you even after you've done all this hard work on yourself and you've tried to speak to them constructively, it's time to decide if you can forgive them and if you want them in your life. Like they say, you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

If your friends don't appreciate the happy, emotionally healthy new you, they don't deserve you. If you're interested in learning more about how to mindfully explore your emotions, please visit my website and sign up for my newsletter. You can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Also, don't obsess about your feelings. Just like "the power to tax," is the power to destroy, so obession and constant mental replay, bring by the pain. The only connection you have with a prior event, is thinking about it.

No thoughts about the past, no pain from the past. When you fully understand the principle, you won't spend a moment crying over spilt milk. How would you, as a female deal with a male colleague who constantly attacks your integrity due to his insecurity?

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Attitude is everything as long as he has no means to affect you economically. There are always SOME options. Live in day tight compartments. If he is a bully and he sees he has no affect on you, he'll pick some other victim. Andrea Brandt, Ph. D, is a marriage and family therapist in Santa Monica, California. She brings over 35 years of experience to her roles in family therapy, couples counseling, group therapy and anger-management classes.

Our culture affects the way we interpret negative events.

Emotions: how humans regulate them and why some people can't

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These positive emotions feel good. That's especially true when we feel a negative emotion too often, too strongly, or we dwell on it too long. Negative emotions are impossible to avoid, though. Everyone feels them from time to time. They may be difficult, but we can learn to handle them. Learning to notice and identify your feelings takes practice.

In addition to focusing on your feelings, check in with your body, too. You may feel body sensations with certain emotions — perhaps your face gets hot, for example, or your muscles tense. Once you've processed what you're feeling, you can decide if you need to express your emotion.


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